nobody girl

My mom went in for an MRI today. Probably nothing serious; she's been having a lot of pain in her lower back area, and when to the doctor he said he found some sort of mass there. It's most likely a "bone spur", but, you know, just in case and all that. I'm really not that worried - less because I'm an optimist and more because, well, I don't even want to contemplate the idea of anything happening to my mom, ever - but my mom's kind of freaking out in her subtle way. She gets the results on Friday...

Every now and again I find an actress and get all obsessed with "MAN I WISH I LOOKED LIKE HER." I think I generally keep it to cute-but-not-ridiculous stars, like, I'm perfectly aware that I will never look like Marion Cotilliard or Rachel Weisz or Anna Friel, although they were all factors in me going back to shiny brunette. Right now it's Carey Mulligan:



I think it's the haircut. I mean, I LOVED Sally Sparrow of course, but then I started seeing Carey during her press run for 'An Education' with her adorable hair, and now I want her haircut and dimples. She is beautiful, of course, but it's kind of an attainable pretty, I think.

Anyway, I think I'm going to cut my hair like that, provided that Deanna my stylist doesn't say it will make my face look too chubby. I'm also considered about whether or not I have a feminine enough face for it, but...I think it'll work.

A drastic hairstyle change is generally my way of coping with feeling out of sorts, because it's a major change that I can have some control over, you know? *shrug*

Off to watch Gossip Girl now...

My boss and I are having a little tiff at work right now because I am generally unwilling to come in on my days off unless, like, somebody died or something. It's one of those strange situations where I actually know that I'm the asshole here, but I'm also within my rights to, you know, not work when I'm not scheduled to work. I'm in school right now, I don't particularly need the money, and, more importantly, I hate that damn place (right now). Whatevs, it's getting on my nerves.

I'm more excited to be back in school than I thought I was, although I'm struggling a little bit getting stuff in on time. I'm in no way doing as bad as I was last time, but...with my Intro to Library class we have to do this discussion board thing, where we post our ideas, etc and then we have to do "peer responses". I'm so insecure about people just disagreeing with me, lol, that it's taking A LOT to get myself to post anything. But I'm averaging about 3/4 of the posts, and I'm getting 100% of everything else, so all in all I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

I need to see 'Paranormal Activity' like, right now. All the people I normally go to the movies with are horror movie pussies though, and I'll be damned if I'm going to see that one alone. *sad*

Hey sf_ders, have there been any creepy-Halloweentime-story posts lately? That's what I came back to check...

I have stacks and stacks and stacks of spiral notebooks sitting in my closet. I buy them any time I see one I like, or see a really good deal (I got 4 for a dollar the other day!). The thing is, the last half dozen or so that I've bought?

Empty.

When I was a kid, even up through 15 or so, I could fill up a one-subject notebook in a week. When I was in elementary school I actually had a three-ring binder that I would take around everywhere with me, so I could work on whatever "novel" I had going at that time. I loved describing characters, I loved setting up the inevitably spooky or gore-filled scenes (I was a strange 9-year-old), I loved putting the exact right words in the exact right order.

In high school I moved away from writing stories and started essays. Not just the ones assigned for school, but essays about my life, any silly or strange or sad or scary thing that happened to me (this was also about the time I started really digging on David Sedaris, not coincidentally). I had a voice coming through, faint though it might have been.

Then "it" happened, and my confidence was shaken on every single level. Anything that I enjoyed was more or less taken away from me. Lately I've been trying to gain it all back, and though it's a slow (sloooooow) process, it has been working so far. I still have some fears, but I've been able to conquer some of them, and I'm hoping that this return to LJ (to writing every day) will help me even more.

So a big hello to everybody who has kept me on their friends list, and I hope you're all doing alright!

I was soooo tired about an hour ago, but now I am wide awake. Decided I should update my LJ, because I have been neglecting it for Facebook. :-( LJ has been my loyal companion for 8 years, it deserves better than that!

Here's what's been going on since I got home:

-Nothing.

Really. Nothing at all. I go to work, I come home, I watch something on TV/DVD, I go to bed. It's really not so bad, until someone's all "So, any big plans this weekend?" and I have to make some shit up or stick with the "Nah, just...hanging out...you know..." :-/ Oh well.

Actually, one semi-exciting thing has happened: I made the decision to audition for a play. Lately I've been interested in the idea of, if not fate exactly, having the universe give you a little nudge. Like, sometimes you kind of have to look at a situation and go: "Maybe this does mean something."

The story behind this is: I was at work, doing a project in the office upstairs. This was a project that generally tends to take and an hour or two. I was moving a cardboard box when the damn thing sliced my finger open. I grabbed the first aid kit that we keep up there, but there were no band-aids in it. So I had to go downstairs to the kit that we keep on the floor. While I'm down there, this lady stops me and asks me if we have the movie 'Psycho Beach Party'. I tell her no, but that it's AMAZING and I love it. She exclaims "Oh! We're doing the play at the theatre this fall! Auditions aren't for a couple of weeks; you should come try out!"

So that's it. I realized that I wouldn't have been downstairs when she came in had I not cut open my finger on the box, and had the box been where it was normally kept and not on top of the stuff I needed I wouldn't have had to move the box. Maybe it's a flimsy excuse to get over my fear of acting (or, rather, my fear of getting back into acting), but whatevs. I have an audition on the 28th now, and I demand that you wish me luck!

I hope everyone is doing well! I'm going to try to keep up, I swear.

Uploaded my trip photos if anyone's interested:

www.flickr.com/photos/patty_and_amy

I had dreams about Godzilla all last night. It was WEIRD and really scary. It was, like, national emergency levels and people were evacuating and Godzilla was smashing buildings up and eating people. I can not fathom why this was in my brain, lol.

Also, I now have Blue Oyster Cult stuck in my head...

I'm usually not a huge fan of gory creature-feature movies, but on the recommendation of one of my regulars I watched one today that I ended up REALLY liking:



They did a lot of the quick-cut stuff, which made the gore a little easier to handle while adding a sort of frenetic panic to it. Well done.

Nothing new on, well, any front. Leaving for my trip in about two weeks though! I'm super excited, not just to travel but to be away from the hell dimension called 'work' for a while.

SOMEONE HAS TO SEE 'DRAG ME TO HELL' WITH ME :-( :-( :-(

Today at work I had to hand-count all of the ice cream, and at one point I had to try and get a box out from underneath the inner shelves (doesn't make sense without a visual, whatevs). As I was leaning over to try and get to it, I knocked my head against the edge of the cooler. Didn't really hurt, just startled me and made me swear under my breath.

This was about 5 hours ago, and at the moment I have a HUGE knot on my head where I hit it, it is clearly visible, and hurts even when I don't touch it - which I keep doing, of course, because I'm totally that person who, like, pushes on a bruise to see if it still hurts. Anyway, I'm not too worried, except that Angela was all "Hope you don't pull a Natasha Richardson!", which was a)MEAN and b)more insensitive than she normally is, lol. I'm more worried about it looking awful.

Hawaiian Day at work tomorrow (why? I don't know); I will perhaps post pictures, depending on how cute I look. :-)


Cute boy continues to come into the store, I continue to turn into a retard.

P.S. I think all of my shows are done for the season. I hate summer :-( Does anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? Did the thing with George BLOW YOUR DAMN MIND?

HELLO INTERNET I AM BACK!!!

My computer imploded a little bit ago, and then when we got a new one the internet wouldn't work, and THEN for whatever reason it didn't let me sign in to LJ. But I am here now! Miss me?

P.S. I've only had this computer for a couple of days but I've already decided that Vista is kind of annoying. I also spent about half an hour debating over whether or not I could afford a Mac. I could not :-(

Anyway. Anything new and/or exciting going on??

A TON, but most notably the entire soundtracks to 'Grease' and 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' I think I will remember those lyrics for the rest of my life, I have heard them so many times.

P.S. Man, this "List 5" thing on Facebook is TROUBLE. I can't stop!

I have done two large loads of laundry today, and yet I still have a full clothes hamper. WTF. This makes me a sad Amy, because, as I have said many times before, I HATE HATE HATE doing laundry.

Every now and again, usually while getting ready for work, I stop and think about how much time and money I (and many other females) put into looking "natural." You know, putting on make-up to look like I'm wearing none at all, doing my hair so that it looks like I just got out of bed. It just suddenly hits me as how ridiculous it really is, you know? Because really, when I get up in the morning I am a hot mess. My non-make-up face is all dark circles and uneven skin tone, and there's almost always a sleep line down one side of my face. My hair is usually sticking up in a retarded cowlick in the back but flat in the front and, depending on how much product I used the day before (texturizer and hairspray for that messy look), possibly kind of gross. It is not pretty.

Although I do look really cute in pajamas. So there's that, I guess.

I have a near-debilitating crush on a boy who comes into the store. It's terrible. What really sucks (what ALWAYS sucks) is that I used to be fine around him. I thought he was cute, but it was no big deal. Then we got to chatting when he would come in and I started to realize how awesome he is, and then BAM!. My brain now wants no part of it, and shuts down immediately so all I can do is blush and say awkward things. LOL, it's so bad, really. Then there's always the fact that you tell yourself you're going to look like an idiot, so of course you look even more like an idiot than you originally would have, you know? *sigh* Oh, brain.

I've been mainlining Sarah Dessen books recently. Remember how I was feeling all nostalgic and talking about my first love and all that? It made me really want to read some YA novels (shut up, sometimes they're good), so I dug up my copy of 'Someone Like You', and since then i have read, like, 3 and a half of her books in a week. Wednesday it was pouring, so I just curled up on my couch, snuggled with my blanket, and read the entire day. It was glorious. It was, seriously, the best day I've had in a very long time.

For some reason this all came out very stilted, but whatevs. I hadn't updated in a while, so I figured I would. Or whatever. Bye.

Oh, and Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mommies on my FL!!!!!!

Woo! Glarkware is back, providing me with T-shirts with obscure references to my favorite TV shows. Y'all have seen my "Robin Sparkles Mall Tour" shirt, my newest one is:



Oh, how I ♥ it. Do you know what it's from?

I'm also considering buying a 'Der Waffle Haus' shirt from someone on CafePress, but it's kind of expensive.

I don't know if any of you are as excited about the new 'Sherlock Holmes' movie as I am, but here is some new info and pictures and stuff anyway.

According to USA Today, they're trying to bring the movie down to a PG-13 rating. Thus, very little bad language and outright violence. As far as this goes, I'll have to agree with Dustin over at Pajiba:

I don’t want family friendly, goddamnit. I want blood. I want Sherlock to shoot someone in the face and say, “Elementary.” I want full-on doublebacking, coke snorting, and a hardcore murder mystery. I don’t want a family friendly Sherlock Holmes. Damnit.

Mostly this is just because it's a Guy Ritchie film, and the idea of Guy Ritche making anything PG-13 is a hard one for my brain to process. However, someone pointed out that 'The Dark Knight' was PG-13 and still managed to be pretty dark, and it'll be interesting to see if Ritchie can write a decent script without the words "fuck" or "cunt" (and he can probably sneak some of the British counterparts in there too, right? The MPAA has a tendency not to catch that stuff), so I haven't given up hope.

( Also, the pictures look fairly promising )

What perfect timing for this Writer's Block, because today is my 8th LJ anniversary!

HOORAY!!!!

( Let's see, May of 2001... )

So that's it. Me, 8 years ago.

My tummy is sick but I have used up my allowance of swine flu references this week. :-( :-( :-(

Proof that I need to do laundry: the shirt I am wearing right now has Santa Claus on it.

Work today was lame, mostly just because I really didn't want to be there (when do I ever?). Oh, and that weekend I was supposed to have off? Gone. I have to work Sunday now. Booooo. Realistically I can use the money, though.

I'm thinking about starting the library science program. Has anyone worked in that field or know anyone who does? Send them my direction if they're willing to talk to me about it.

My mom finalized her divorce today, so I'm off to eat junk food and drink lots of Stella Artois in celebration.

What I thought were allergies actually turned out to be a nasty little cold. Tricky bugger.

Somehow, though, I managed to get the weekend off. I have to help Josalyn move on Saturday for a few hours, but after that it's all self-prescribed rest and fluids. I do love when I have an excuse to just sort of lay around and watch movies, lol.

My mom keeps talking about how she needs a massage, so I'm thinking about booking one for her for Mother's Day. Has anyone ever had a hot stone massage? She's always talked about getting one. I think in general I might spoil her this year. It's been a rough one for her, with the divorce (my dad [well, my dad's lawyer, I guess] is being kind of a prick), and Chewie, and going back and forth on having to sell the house, and the cutbacks at the school. She deserves a day to just...not have to think about all that.

Anyway, I have to get some sleep.

Ah yes, now I remember why I don't love spring.

*SNEEZE*