nobody girl

Wow, so I can do without giant wasps in my television shows from now on.

I have such a girl crush on Blake Lively. She's so pretty and cool.

I really want to crack my window to let some cool air in, but my room is on the ground floor, and they've been playing the hell out of those previews for The Strangers. It makes me paranoid when I think about it. Masks = scary.

My first day went well. I don't want to write too much about it at the moment, because I always tend to go "Waah, I don't think I like it" whenever I do something new, because I get so nervous. So I'll give it some time, I guess.

OK, I'm off to see if I can convince mom to kill the fly in my room. I hate killing stuff but I can't sleep with it buzzing around. :-(

YAY YAY YAY YAY!

My new job starts at 8:30 tomorrow morning! Which is a little D-: for me, as I'm closing tonight, but I GOT THE JOB HOORAY! The next few weeks are going to be interestingl I'm giving my two weeks notice tonight, but I do have to overlap them. So I could possibly be working, like, 17 hours days for a couple of weeks. I can probably manage it, though. I hope so, lol. I feel kind of bad for leaving at this particular time, because our store manager is leaving at the end of the month, and there's a very good chance that the other shift leader will be leaving by then too. They're going to have to replace three managers by June. Sucks for them.

I'm so happy! I get to wear nice clothes to work, finally! Ooh, this means I have to dip into my savings a bit and go shopping. That could potentially be a good thing, as long as I don't have any panic attacks.

I wish I had someone to hug right now!

P.S. This means that I'm going to be more available and probably willing to hang out on weekend nights(in a couple of weeks, that is). No more closing nights!!

OK, I'm done posting like 1,675,765 times a day.

I went to the "team interview" this morning. It actually went really well. Literally all it was was me sitting around in the office with all the people who work there, chatting and shooting the breeze*. I thought that we were waiting for Daniel to come in and start, I don't know, having people ask me different questions, but when he finally did come in (after about 20 minutes) he was like, "OK, we have one other person coming in, then we'll all talk and I'll let you know later this afternoon." That was it. It was kind of awesome, actually, because I already knew a couple of the people (one of whom I get along with really well and can actually see becoming friends with), and I do better in groups anyway. I like a situation where I don't feel like I have to make 50% of the conversation, you know? I like when I'm only responsible for, like, 25% at most.

I'm way more nervous now that I thought that I did well and could actually get this job (and really want it) than when I thought that I wasn't going to get it, if that makes any sense. :-/

Oh, and the bus got my there a little early, so I walked over to Blockbuster to grab my pre-streets and just kill some time. Who should choose that moment to walk in but my district manager, Dennis. He makes me so nervous, because he's this sort of big, booming, commanding guy. I mean, he's super nice, but still. He was asking me how I was doing, if I was comfortable, etc, etc. I was afraid he was going to keep me there forever and I was going to be late for my interview. Fortunately, he let me go just in time.

Oh, and last night when I was shopping I grabbed a couple of dresses without trying them on, because they were clearanced at, like, $10. Two of them look awesome, and the one that doesn't doesn't look horrible, just not good enough to keep. It's rare that I find something that I put on and go "I look adorable!." It probably seems more often because I feel the need to write about it every time that happens.

I'm reading a really great book right now, The Thirteenth Tale.

P.S. I just realized, while watching an episode of Roseanne, that James Pickens Jr, who plays Chief Webber on Grey's, had a recurring role as their friend Chuck. Awesome. I can't believe that I've never noticed before, considering the amount of Roseanne that I watch (it's a lot).

*I find myself using a lot of lame cliches lately. This is quite distressing to me.

Yeah, so, as I wrote that last entry Daniel (the salon manager) was leaving a message on my voicemail asking if I wanted to come back in tomorrow for a "team interview", which sounds super intimidating. Exciting, though. Hooray. I think the fact that I'm a client there helps.

I also just got through an entire clothes-shopping trip without having a nervous breakdown. A banner day!

P.S. I noticed when it came on the radio the other day - I think "Back in Black" might actually be owned by Iron Man now. As soon as I heard that opening I just saw the tanks rolling down the desert.

P.P.S. Thanks for all your kind words, guys! I realized that I never said that. I really appreciate it.

Frustrating. I know that in here somewhere there is a charming, witty, sparkly girl, but she never wants to come out when I need her. Pfft.

As you undoubtedly guessed, my interview didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Nothing monumental (although my voice took on two peculiar qualities: 1) my Canadian accent [I honestly don't know when that started, but I have been asked more than once if I'm from Canada], and 2) that sort of shakiness that happens when you're trying to hold back tears. The thing is, I wasn't. I was perfectly fine. While this voice is effective when trying to make someone feel bad for you, it is not what you want when what you want is to convince someone that you're someone they want to hire), just...not particularly great, either. I'll hear back about it tonight, and then I'll let you know.

Ooh, I have an interview on Wednesday for that salon job! The woman actually called me back about two hours after I sent in my resume and asked if I could come down and fill out one of their applications. I did, and basically as soon as I handed it to her she was all "So! Can you come in on Wednesday?" I take this as a good sign, but I don't want to get too excited.

I would really love to get this job though. Wish me luck and send nice thoughts please :-)

I've also been seriously considering going back to school lately. I do this every once in a while (normally when I've been having a shit time at work). I've just been thinking...sure, I like retail and all that now, but am I still going to like it in a few years? It would be nice to maybe work somewhere where I didn't get treated like I don't matter quite as often. That mantra plays in my head enough as it is, I don't need outside reinforcement, you know? Anyway, the program I'm looking at is two years, and mostly online, so I theoretically could still do a bit of travelling. I dunno. I need to stop thinking about stuff so much and just do it.

P.S. Fuck, David Tennant was brilliant in tonight's episode of Doctor Who. 'The Doctor's Daughter.' Find the torrent, trust me.

P.P.S. We have these trailers that we play at work advertising different movies, and there are music videos interspersed throughout. The current one includes 'White Rabbit' by Jefferson Airplane. I laughed out loud when I first heard it. What a weird choice of song for a business, right? It doesn't make me want to work, it just makes me want to do drugs and just, like, lay on the floor for hours. I then also had to deal with this lady who a) kept calling the song 'Go Ask Alice' and b) tried to tell me that the song was written for the movie version of the book Go Ask Alice (god, I used to love that one). I never know how to inform people that they are flat-out wrong. I mean, is it better to let it go in order not to make them feel stupid(if they're customers, I mean), or is it better to alert them to their misinformation so they don't look like idiots in front of someone else? Anyway. It also made me think of one of my favorite movie scenes, that one from 'The Game', where Michael Douglas's house has been broken into and he comes in and that song is blaring, and there's glow in the dark paint all over the walls...I love it. I couldn't find a video of the scene anywhere (Damn your generic title, David Fincher), so ( here's this one instead. It's awesome as well )

Things that I did today:

-Got tricked into waking up early*
-Bought some Maxïmo Park cds (hooray!)
-Applied for a new job**
-Read my book for nearly three hours without realizing it
-Entered preliminary planning stages of my next trip***
-Read through some of my paranormal websites that I've been neglecting (anyone have any recs?)
-Self-analyzed

It was quite a jam-packed day, it seems!



*I passed out on my couch last night, and never made it to my room. I woke up when my mom came into the living room, chatted with her a bit, and then promptly fell back asleep as soon as she left for work. She comes back home for lunch, and I get up, not wanting to waste the day away sleeping. So I fix myself some toast and juice and go downstairs to check my e-mail and fl and all that. I'm doing this for a good half hour, when I look and the clock and notice - it's 8:30 am! I do a double-take, and go upstairs, thoroughly confused. I put it down to a dream, but apparently my mom had a doctor's appointment this morning. When she came back for the second time, I just assumed that she was back for her lunch break. In short, I woke up at 8am this morning for absolutely no reason, and now I am very tired. I couldn't get back to sleep :-(

**A front desk position at the salon I go to. And yes, it is in the same parking lot as both my current and former jobs. It would just be nice to be able to wear something other than a uniform and to be guaranteed not to have to work nights.

***This is basically just deciding where it is I want to go. I keep bouncing around ideas, because there are so many places. I think I have come to a pretty solid decision, though: Northern Europe. The countries I have narrowed it down to are: Belgium, Sweden, The Netherlands, Iceland, and Denmark. Ambitious? Perhaps. I think it's doable, though. Denmark in particular seems rad. Also, the totally awesome 'In Bruges' really made me want to visit the titular city. It looks beautiful.

Mom is about to drag me off to Lowe's, having begun her annual house-fixing-up mission. Or, as I'm calling it this year, "Shit We Should Have Done Before Jordan and I Broke Up." Damn it. I'm gonna have to do way more work now.

Oh well. At least my dad's not here to fuck everything up like he normally does. That may sound mean to say, but...you guys haven't really seen his "improvements" to the house. Ooh, maybe I'll get batteries for my camera tonight and take some pictures. It's bad, seriously. It's like, stuff that even I wouldn't be able to screw up, or at least that I would have the sense not to try myself.

There's a great Mario Joyner bit about DIY, but I can't find it on YouTube. Sorry. It's funny though, trust me!

I made myself wait nearly a year to reread Marisha Pessl's Special Topics in Calamity Physics. I read it while I was on my trip last year, and loved it, but it's a book that you want to forget a little bit about before you read it again, you know? Anyway, I'm about halfway through it, and thought I would share a couple of my favorite quotes with you. They're nothing too exciting, I just think that Pessl has a pretty neat and effective way of describing things*:

"To me, there was something strange and insincere about their letters, something a little too 'Madame de Merteuil to the Vicomte de Valmont at the Chateau de --', a little too 'Paris. 4 August 17--'".

"I knew it was pointless to ask where we were going; both of them had fallen into that trench-silence again, a silence so deep it was difficult and tiring to heave oneself out."

*I will concede, however, that she lays it on a bit thick with both the metaphors and the literary references.

If I was cool I'd be at a midnight showing of 'Iron Man' right now.

P.S. The headline of the article I'm reading right now is: "Is living in a dungeon bad for your health?" Oh, Slate!

Someone linked me today to David Tennant's little Comic Relief skit from last year. I've never heard Tennant use his native Scottish accent before, and - oh my. I've known been hunting down interviews with him just so I can hear his lovely voice. Luckily, since my computer takes forever to load videos, I've had a bit of downtime to clean up my room/computer area as well. Productive!

Speaking of beautiful Scottish boys, Ewan McGregor continues to make it difficult for me to love him: he's now joined the cast of Angels & Demons, a prequel to 'The DaVinci Code.' I have never had any interest in reading or seeing anything Dan Brown-related, so this makes me a little sad. I'm sure I've watched worse for him, though. Anyway, his character is Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca, can anyone who's read the book fill me in on whether or not his casting makes any sense?

Saw 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' tonight, and adored it. It's the kind of project that Apatow should continue focusing on: raunchy, hilarious stories that also manage to be sweet and full of heart, that are simultaneously ridiculous and true. In this case, of course, that mostly comes down to my boy Jason Segel, who wrote the script (and it says something about my attachment to actors that I left the theater feeling so proud of Segel, so happy that he accomplished this, lol). The characters were all real, from Segel's man-child who has to have his heart crushed before he realizes how unhappy he is with his place in life, and to realize how much more he can do, to Kristen Bell's Sarah Marshall, who is happily not portrayed as some sort of evil uber-bitch, but as someone who is deeply insecure and confused. Even Russell Brand's dopey rock star is just a guy who has a different outlook on life, knows what works for him, and is completely unapologetic about it (there is this nice moment though, where, despite initially fighting it, he wears this hideous shirt that Sarah buys him just to make her happy, showing that there is a bit of heart beneath his general hedonism).

I don't know, there are just some movies that you connect with, for whatever reason, and this was one of those for me. If we're sticking with the Apatow oeuvre, it's not quite on par with 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin', but I would honestly say that I preferred it to 'Knocked Up', possibly because the female characters were given a little more love and attention.

It also reaffirmed that 'Nothing Compares 2 U' is one of the greatest break-up songs of all time.

In a perfect display of Amy-ness, I inadvertently hit myself in the face with my alarm clock this morning. It was like when you're expecting something to be a lot heavier than it actually is, so you pick it up with a lot of unnecessary force. The only problem was in this case, I was bringing it up to my face (because when I have my contacts out anything I read needs to be about two inches away) and it slammed into my nose. :-(

I also did that thing where you sleep on your arms for a long time, killing all feeling in them. Every time that happens to me I panic that I cut circulation off for so long that I'm never going to regain use of them, lol. Oh, the sleepy mind.

EDIT: I feel like I should clarify that the alarm clock thing didn't actually hurt that much, it was more funny than anything else. I did that "I can't believe that just happened" giggle for a few minutes before passing back out. Thank you for the well wishes, though! :-)

Ever since I got back from my last trip, I've been dismissing the thoguht of traveling alone. I just got really lonely, and thought things might be more fun with a travel buddy.

But let's be realistic here. I can't really spend an afternoon with another person one-on-one, how would I be able to manage several weeks? And those mysterious food issues that I sometimes allude to? Attempting to deal with those would take a long time, if it could even be accomplished (you all have surely noticed that I rarely eat in your company). My desire to travel and be away from everything is right now overshadowing the potential loneliness. I'm hellishly lonely right here anyway, I might as well be seeing cool stuff.

Bleh, I think I've been awake too long. I'm starting to get even mopier than usual. My mind gets dangerous when it's been active this long.

On a happy note (yes, I do have those): I just watched the season finale of 'Burn Notice', and it was awesome. Somehow I missed it the first time around, and - damn. DAMN. My reactions can pretty much be summed up thusly:

*gasp* "Holy shi-HOLY SHIT!"

Michael Westen might be the biggest bad-ass on TV.

OK, good night.

P.S. Teddy Grahams are delicious.

P.P.S. I'll send those songs to you guys in the morning. I don't have the patience to wait for them to upload right now :-)

Nabbed from tatteredreverie.

Pick a number (or several - whatever's cool) from 1 to 672 and I'll send you the song that corresponds with that number!


:-D

Ugly Betty came back tonight! I didn't realize how much I really missed that show. It's nice to get all giddy about something, even something as trivial as that.

Grey's Anatomy was also that, but I watch that mostly out of loyalty these days. It's one of those shows where you just keep convincing yourself that it's going to get better, and then it does for, like, three episodes, and then it gets lame again. It seems to employ the variable ratio technique, and that makes it difficult to give up.

Chewie thought that it would be a good idea to stand in front of my bedroom door at 9 am and bark for 15 minutes straight. I finally got up, assuming that he wanted to go outside, but no, he just stared at me and bounced around every time I moved. I went back to bed, leaving my door open, and he sat on my floor and started whimpering. I got up to once again see if he wanted to go outside, but no. I think he was just lonely, so we spent the rest of the morning lying on the couch watching my DVRd shows. I am so sleepy now. :-( Hopefully after I get my tummy full I can get some sleep.

Chewie:

Things that are awesome:

- Burn Notice
- The song "Thunderwing" by T.Rex
- The customer at work who kept making "That's what she said" jokes to his friend, causing me to finally burst into giggles.
- Snickerdoodles
- My electric blanket
- 'Ugly Betty' starts tomorrow!

Things that suck:

- My muscles/joints (they hurt...)
- My district manager calling me and telling me that he would be stopping by the store, thereby sending me into a panic, and then never showing up.
- The spectacularly bad mood that I have been in for about four days now.
- Misplacing my Mark Ronson CD (where oh where are you?!)
- 85% of life in general

By some miracle of god I got front row seats to Avenue Q. I KNOW, RIGHT?!

And now, ( It's random YouTube video time! )