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congrats universe!

I know a lot of you are sort of in the same boat as me when it comes to being sort of...closed off, and I wonder if anyone else struggles with the issue of people deciding to become your savior.

This has something that has been happening to me a lot in the past few years. Every once in a while I'll meet someone who takes it upon himself (because it's always a guy) to be the one who breaks down the wall. Now, look, there are some people in my life that I have known for years who actively try to push my boundaries a little bit, but they seem to be able to sense when they are going too far and can ease off without feeling hurt. These people are some of the best in the history of time. But the randoms get personally offended if I don't want to immediately start sharing my deep dark secrets with them. If I demur, I get lectures about how "not everyone is going to hurt you!" which, like, fucking duh, maybe I just don't feel like talking about suicide attempts or whatever with somebody I met two weeks ago. The people that I want to share things with, I do. And FINE I sometimes like being a little...engimatic, dropping hints about a possible Tragic Past. I may not act anymore but I still have the awful artistic traits, guys.

I do admit that when I start to get really frustrated with these people I sort of just want to sit them down and say "Check it - " and then list off every personal thing I can think of, just so they'll stfu.

Is it a damsel in distress sort of scenario? Or guys who have seen Before Sunset too many times? Or is it just how some people are, wanting to know the nitty gritty about everybody they've ever met? Whichever it is, it remains annoying. I don't need conversations to be even more laborious than they already are for me.


Granted, it can be annoying when new people want to pry/ask questions/be a saviour. I agree that it's not a fun experience sharing the deep and dark with new people too and perhaps some boys do fancy the damsel thing but consider this....

Our anonymity, our words that we write here for few eyes to see....they're honest, exposed and vulnerable. So in the real world, I guess we boys are not trying to fix you but we're searching for that honesty that's rarely seen (in general). The girls who hide their thoughts are the ones that very likely, have the more important things to share. "There's beauty in the breakdown" Also, I would guess it doesn't hurt when they are quite cute too..generally speaking of course.

I too held much in. So much so that I looked up an noticed I had pushed many people away. I wouldn't attempt to tell you how to be yet....I always think that there will be some girl who I can safely share my words with. I think we all yearn to share our lives. That never really struck me until I saw the film Into The Wild and I wept at the end. My perspective then changed.